She's My Home
by AlexanderBlackthorne
Summary: Emma just nodded her head and continued to stare out the window muttering the same word over and over again. "Regina" "Emma. What happened?" Emma stood up and walked over to him, sitting down on the chair resting directly in front of him. She let out a hearty laugh. "Everything."


_**She's My Home**_

Maybe it was my fault . . . maybe I shouldn't have let her leave . . . maybe it should have been me who died. The thoughts raced around my head in a daze and I struggled to focus on the only one that mattered.

_Regina_

She was the only thing that seemed to matter at this point. But now she was gone. And I had nothing left to live for. So as I wiped the last tear drop off of the piece of paper and put it in the envelope I stepped on the foot stool and wrapped the rope around my neck.

Maybe I'll finally be able to see her again. Maybe I'll see her and Henry up there. I kicked the stool and let myself writhe but not before I heard the front door to the mansion open and hear the call of my name from a familiar voice.

* * *

I woke up a few hours later to the steady beeping of a monitor. I fluttered my eyes open and looked around with a soft yawn

"She's waking up!" I heard a few doctors yell as they all rushed to my room.

"What happened" I said feebly.

My voice was but a mere whistle at this point. For some reason it was severely high pitched. A few doctors took out notepads and began scribbling things down. As I began to wake up more the things around me began to be clearer. The lights seemed to slowly become brighter and began blinding me.

"Emma. You're in the hospital." Dr. Whale stated as he began rifling through files or whatever on his computer

"No shit." I said as I groaned and turned over to block out the light.

"Emma we're going to have to transfer you to a mental facility."

"I figured." I said. I tried to sound strong but the tears rolled down my face.

* * *

It had been two weeks later. Emma's voice had been damaged by the rope but had been healing and was now at her usual sound. Emma spent most of her days at Storybrooke Mental Facility staring out of the window and smiling while the tears cascaded down her face. She only talked to one doctor and only talked to 5 certain visitors that would come see her; Belle (along with Gold if he came along with her), Mary Margaret and David, and Granny.

The doctor that she trusted was Andrew Matthews, a tall African- American man with a soft voice and warm eyes. She felt like she could trust him more than she could trust anybody. Except for Regina . . .

"So Emma, how have you been today?" He asked.

"The same as I am every day. But thanks for asking."

"Emma, so far we've just done brief psych evaluations and such. But I've never truly looked into your case."

Emma just nodded her head and continued to stare out the window muttering the same word over and over again.

"_Regina"_

"Emma. What happened?"

Emma stood up and walked over to him, sitting down on the chair resting directly in front of him. She let out a hearty laugh.

"Everything."

* * *

It was October 22nd and the wind had finally begun to pick up in Maine. The leaves were becoming crisp and turning deep shades or orange and yellow. It was Emma's monthly "move". Every opportunity she got she would make a week- long visit to another town in Maine and this month she had chosen Storybrooke. A quaint little town that you would pass right by if you didn't know it existed.

She drove past the town line and into the little town that made her feel like she had a big purpose in the world. She drove around town but stopped in front of the large mansion. Outside of it was a woman who was bent over raking her leaves. Her dark hair was beautiful as it flowed gracefully in the wind.

She stood up with a sigh and Emma's heart skipped a beat as she took in the beauty of the woman before her.

"Hello!' The woman called out in a rich voice that practically melted you from inside because of how warm and inviting it was.

"Hi. Is this the Mayor's mansion?"

"Why yes it is! And you happen to be speaking to the mayor herself." The woman said with a smile that could cure cancer.

"_Damn could this woman get any more perfect?" _Emma thought to herself.

"I'm Regina Mills!" She said with a bright smile.

"I'm Emma, Emma Swan."

* * *

Emma had stayed in Storybrooke longer than she intended to. Shehad been talking to Regina socially and romantically. It was just typical flirting but last night Emma had sprung the idea of a date at the only high- end restaurant in Storybrooke; _Le Cygne Royal_

Regina was scanning through her closet trying to decide on what would be best to wear. She had to look her best to meet Emma. There was no way she was going to meet the Golden- haired beauty without being as beautiful as she could be. She finally decided on a black silk dress with straps that clung to her frame tightly and ended at her knees. She applied her favorite lipstick- Sweet Apple Red- and set off to the restaurant to meet her Princess.

While Regina was trying to go for gorgeous but classy Emma was just throwing all caution to the winds and going for downright sexy. She put on her skin- tight, red polyester dress and hopped in her Yellow Bug to meet her Sexy Queen.

When Emma walked into that restaurant Regina had trouble picking her jaw off of the floor while Emma just stared on breathless. They both swallowed hard and began blushing like middle schoolers with crushes.

"Um, I made a reservation last night I was waiting for you to arrive so we could go. It's uh, this way." Regina said as she stumbled over air, trying to suppress her hormones.

The date went wonderfully. They both talked on and on about themselves and the parts of their pasts that they wanted the other to know. By the time they remembered that they had lives it was 11:45 PM and the restaurant was closing soon. Emma paid the bill (something that Regina was not pleased with) and they were off. Emma was definitely enjoying Storybrooke.

* * *

It had been a month since the date. Regina and Emma talked and spent time together continuously. But they hadn't kissed yet. They were both too awkward to make the first move. Today was another one of their dates. It was a "private photo- shoot" (just Regina taking pictures of Emma on an expensive camera).

Emma's hair was in a braid that went to her shoulders. She was making poses over and over again. All Regina could do was smile and laugh as she saw _her _Emma prance around and pose like an 8- year old girl. It was positively adorable in Regina's opinion.

In all of the years Regina had been alive, she had never met someone who made her so happy. Emma walked over to Regina and hugged her. She looked into Regina's deep eyes and gracefully kissed her. Their lips conformed to each other's in such a perfect way. Regina could practically feel the sparks exploding throughout each other.

A minute may have passed, or an hour, or a day, or a year. But neither Emma nor Regina cared because all that mattered at the moment was each other.

* * *

Four months of them being together. A million kisses and still they didn't know how to express their feelings for each other. Regina had been so confused lately. She'd been feeling as though she wasn't good enough for Emma. As though she wasn't even worth being in her very presence.

That night Regina had taken a trip to the liquor store and bought a bottle of whiskey. Something she hadn't done in a very long time. But love makes you do crazy things.

When Regina got home she continuously took shots of the bitter liquid. She called over the sheriff and awaited his arrival.

"Hello Madame Mayor. What is it you called me over for?"

Regina walked over to him and began kissing him but he pulled away quickly.

"Regina, you have a girlfriend."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." Regina said with a sensual smirk.

"Regina you're drunk."

"And you're sexy."

"Regina you need to go to bed."

She began kissing him again roughly. Finally, he gave in and kissed her back. After several minutes of this he pressed her up against the wall and began kissing her in a fiercer manner.

Emma Swan decided that she was going to pop by her girlfriend's house for a surprise visit. They would probably have another Disney marathon (one of their favorite things to do and it never got old for either of them).

As she approached the door what she saw was something that destroyed her inside and out. Sheriff Graham had her pressed up against a wall sucking and kissing her neck fiercely.

The tears began to fall down Emma's face and she walked away with nothing else to do but cry and hurt.

* * *

The next morning Regina woke up with a splitting head ache as the memories of last night flooded in as her vomit flooded out into the toilet.

_Oh God . . ._

Emma . . .

A million thoughts sprinted around her head in a flurry. She didn't know what to say. Did Emma see anything? Did she know? Should Regina tell her? All of the stress and questions had given Regina an even more intense headache and made her throw up again.

Regina took a long shower and brushed her teeth and used mouthwash at least 3 times to get the taste and scent of whiskey out of her mouth. She did her hair and put on a nice yet casual outfit.

Just as Regina was finally able to take a breath the doorbell rang. She walked down the stairs, each step seeming to take a year and finally arrived at the door. She opened it to see Emma. Her eyes were puffy and red . . . she had been crying.

"We need to talk."

"Yes. I suppose we do." Regina said, her voice cracking and threatening to break with every syllable. "Emma, I'm sorry."

That was all she could think of? I'm sorry? God, Regina could you be any more of a worthless, pathetic fool?

"You were supposed to be with me! You were supposed to remain faithful to me! I thought what we had was real!"

"Emma, it was."

At this point they were both crying.

"If it was real, then you would have been kissing me last night and not your little boy toy."

"Emma-"

"No. We're through."

At this Emma walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Regina wasn't sure which was louder; the slam of the door or the sound of her heart cracking into two.

Regina walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She walked in front of the mirror that was by her front door and looked at herself.

"_How do you live__ with yourself Regina?"_

She let two tears cascade down her cheeks and then she threw the glass at the mirror shattering both the cup and the mirror, letting the red wine drip down the mirror like blood.

* * *

The next month was the hardest time periods both girls had ever endured. They had to pass each other every day and every passing glance made it harder and harder on both of them. It was like the air around them was just getting heavier and heavier around them. One of these days it was going to get to be too heavy and somebody would just collapse. On Friday, they had both decided to go shopping unbeknownst to the other.

They literally ran into each other in the bread aisle and the awkward silence that had occurred after they realized who they had bumped into could've made a Monk temple sound loud.

They both tried so hard not to cry every time the other's name was brought up or they saw the other. And through this all they still loved each other. They still depended on the thought of the over like it was oxygen or food.

The day that broke it all . . . they were walking along opposite streets. Emma kept thinking to herself:

"_Don't look at her, don't look at her."_

But Emma couldn't help herself. So she did the next worst thing she could have done. She glared at Regina.

Regina knew that Emma was mad at her. She had every right to be. But that Emma had physically displayed the anger crumbled Regina. It destroyed her. She truly felt worthless and helpless. Emma _hated _her. And Regina hated herself too.

Regina went home. She went into the guest room where Emma would sometimes sleep if Regina had kicked her out of the bed with her restless sleeping. She clutched the blue pillow to her face and cried into it. Strangled, screamed cries. The pillow had tears all over it. She couldn't repress it any longer. She had tried so hard but you can only try to be strong for so long before you break. And Regina had finally broken.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Regina had broken. She would now just wander around aimlessly throughout the town. Because she felt as though she had no purpose left. It might have been one hour or ten since she left her house. She had finally made it to the pier where she sat on one of the benches and stared off into the sky.

Hundreds of people moved past her but she only noticed one. The one with the golden curls that cascaded to the middle of her back that sat down on the bench next to her.

Regina's lower lip quivered as she looked at the person she loved most who was also person that hated her the most.

"Regina."

It was like Regina had woken up. Just hearing Emma say her name awoke something inside her she hadn't felt in a while. She felt like her blood had just turned to liquid gold and she could do anything.

"Yes?" Regina said with happiness purely radiating out of her in every way possible.

Emma opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly. Her face scrunched up as she thought deeply and then she cupped both of Regina's cheeks and kissed her.

It wasn't a casual kiss. It was a kiss that burned with passion and love. It was a kiss that screamed:

"_I forgive you! And-"_

"I love you."

Emma had said the words. The words that Regina had longed for so much. A smile broke across her face as she held her Golden- haired beauty in her arms and sunk into their beautiful little happiness.

* * *

It had been two months since they had made up. Once they were back together, their relationship was stronger than ever. They were Storybrooke's "Power Couple". Everybody loved them together and they were as happy as they could be. It was all so perfect in both of their minds.

But Regina wanted more . . .

She wanted a child to share their perfect little family with. She wanted to be a full family. Nowadays with modern technology there were ways for a Gay/ Lesbian couple to have kids but the process was expensive. Like 78,000 dollars expensive. But she wanted this and she would talk to Emma about it.

"Emma we need to talk. Come to my house as soon as you possibly can." Regina said over the phone.

"Is it bad?" Emma said with a slight hint of fear in her voice.

"It all depends on how it ends, dear. I love you."

"I love you too."

About 10 minutes later, Emma was at her girlfriend's doorstep. When Regina opened the door they kissed and proceeded to Regina's couch.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Emma. I want a baby."

There was silence and Emma's face contorted into about 20 different faces.

"Regina, I'm no medical expert but I'm pretty sure that only a guy and a girl can have a baby."

"Not anymore. I've done some research and as long as we have someone willing to donate sperm then we can have a baby. The baby will have both our DNA and the sperm donor's."

"Why did you think I'd be upset about this?" Emma asked as she took a drink of Regina's homemade apple cider.

"The process costs 78,000 dollars."

Emma spit her apple cider everywhere.

"Holy shit Regina! Where are you going to get 78,000 dollars from?!"

"Well, I do have some of my own savings for a rainy day and I could just take some out of the town's funds. Belle honestly doesn't need any more books and Granny's could learn to live without the over praised lasagna."

Emma took a few deep breaths and then her face broke into a wide smile.

"Let's do it."

* * *

They had taken the idea to the hospital where they approved of the process. They both began scouring phone books for any Sperm Banks in Maine. Emma was the first to find one. She immediately dialed the number.

"Welcome to the Boston Sperm Bank how may I help you today?"

"Hi, my name is Emma Swan."

"Hello, Ms. Swan how may I help you today?"

"Well me and my girlfriend-"

The line immediately went dead.

Emma stalked back into the living room to an excited Regina.

"When are we going!?"

"We're not. The lady who answered had a strict no Gay policy."

Regina's face immediately contorted and Emma could tell. She. Was. Pissed.

"There's nothing we can do about it. Let it go. They're just close- minded idiots."

"I suppose you're right dear."

They did this for two weeks. Dealing with either homophobic people or people who couldn't find a sperm donor that met their requirements (Dark Brown hair and Blue- Green eyes so that the baby would look like them as much as possible)

It took three weeks but they finally found one. A man named August Booth who was more than happy to donate to them. His only request was that he wanted to be able to see the kid which Emma and Regina had no problem with.

The next week the process happened (we're not going to go into detail) and all that Regina and Emma could do was wait. Regina had spent at least $100 on pregnancy tests and they were the top of the line ones with only a 0.01% failure rate. Emma used one every other day and they all came back negative.

"We just might be the percent of the users with the failure. We can try something else." Regina said frantically.

"Like what? That was the top of the line pregnancy test."

"We could see Dr. Whale. My insurance would cover the ultrasound."

The next morning they were off to the hospital with high hopes. They wanted this baby so bad. Once there, Dr. Whale began rubbing the thick gel on Emma's stomach.

"Shit, that's cold." Emma said with a wince.

Dr. Whale pulled out the white tool and began rubbing it along Emma's stomach.

"Well, is she pregnant?" Regina asked.

"No."

* * *

After the failed pregnancy Regina lost hope. But Emma wanted to try again. She could sense that someone somewhere wanted them to have this baby.

"Regina, we can't just give up like this."

"Why not?" Regina asked as she sipped another cup of wine. "It's not going to work Emma, if it didn't work the first time then it wasn't meant to be."

"I can feel it Regina! We were meant to have this baby!"

"Have fun trying again."

Due to the last procedure being a failure the Sperm Bank wanted to avoid whatever lawsuit Regina could scramble together and gave them back all of the money. So this plan fell right into place for Emma. She went back to a different Sperm Bank in Boston. One that was rated higher than the other and this one had a 0% tolerance for Homophobia.

She scanned through the list of men with blue- green eyes and dark brown hair like she always decided on something. She closed her eyes and pointed. When she opened her eyes she saw the name printed below her finger:

NEAL CASSIDY

This was the man that would help with Regina and Emma's baby. Emma contacted the man immediately. He had no problem with donating to a Gay couple and had the same conditions as August Booth did. The procedure happened and once more, they were waiting. Well Emma was at least. Regina just sulked around and refused to bother with anything because she had truly given up on hope. Emma went out and bought one of the top of the line pregnancy tests and took it home.

This was it. The "Moment of Truth". The moment that could either destroy both of their hope or bring it back in Regina and boost Emma's even more. After peeing on the stick she waited the designated five minutes. She read the box at least ten times. And then her phone's timer went off and she sat down on the toilet seat with the stick in her hands and her eyes closed. She slowly opened them after inhaling and exhaling deeply and looked at the stick.

Emma immediately began laughing and smiling and crying of happiness.

"Regina!" Emma yelled.

Emma ran to the living room and held up the stick in front of Regina where she could clearly see the Positive symbol. Regina immediately began laughing and smiling and crying from happiness like Emma. She threw the wine cup at the wall while laughing and hugged Emma.

Then she got down on her knees and kissed Emma's stomach. And then stood back up and kissed Emma.

Emma had brought back the hope in Regina.

* * *

It had been a month since the day they found out Emma was pregnant. Emma had planned a date at _Le Cygne Royal. _The place where they had their first date. They even wore the same dresses as that night. It was all so perfect. Everything had been so perfect lately. Nothing could go wrong. _Nothing_.

When they arrived at the restaurant and sat at their table they began talking to each other about their future.

"We have to train our kid to be a ninja."

"Emma, you watch too many of those Action films. I think we should just let him or her grow up to whatever they want to be."

"Yeah, let's go with my plan."

Their food arrived so they had to end their conversation for the time being. Dinner was eaten over one single argument. Ninja Baby. Emma insisted on having one but Regina refused.

"The child will be a ninja."

"No they won't."

"Yes they will."

"No they won't."

"You're just jealous because you're not a ninja."

Regina just laughed and finished off her food.

"So Regina I've been wanting to ask you a question."

"Okay."

Emma stood up and walked in front of Regina. She pulled out a Ring with a gold band and a ruby in the center with rubies embedded in the band.

"Regina. I've known you for 11 long months and I can honestly tell you that these 11 months have been the best in my life. You bring out a side in me that I've never seen before. When I'm with you I'm happy, lively, and the best part of my day is waking up to your face. So, Regina Mills. Will you marry me?"

Everybody in the diner was staring at them. Most of them were smiling and only a few were glaring and being upset.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Emma slipped the ring onto Regina's finger and they kissed. It was one of the most passionate kisses they had ever shared. Filled with loved and emotion. And in this moment, it was just them. Nobody else mattered. All they had was each other and all that mattered was each other.

* * *

7 months later they were having a white wedding. There was a long strip of red carpet leading to the altar. One both sides of the carpet were rows upon rows of seats all filled with hundreds of people who loved and supported this happy couple.

Regina was standing at the altar in her white wedding gown that might have cost more than her car. Emma walked down the aisle with her father on her arm. He looked down at his daughter with pride and happiness. Once Emma reached the altar she took Regina's hands into her own and looked into her soon-to-be wife's eyes.

"Regina, you're more than a person. You're like an angel that was sent to me from heaven. I don't remember what my life was before I met you. I had felt like there was a hole in my heart and you filled it. People ask me all the time why I love you. So here's my answer to them. I love Regina because she makes me who I am. She makes me happy when I'm sad, she can brighten my day just by smiling. She's my Home."

"Emma, you make me feel things I've never felt before. I've done things in my past that I wish I could change and I regret them and hate myself for them all the time. But when I'm with you, all I can think about it _our_ Past, Present, and Future because to me that's all that matters anymore. You're all that matters anymore. I love you Emma Swan."

They both slipped the rings on to the other's finger and kissed. Sealing their marriage.

"If all of the lovey- dovey stuff is over may we please eat cake now?" Leroy called out laughing with a smile on his face.

They were at the after party after they had changed out of their wedding gowns into party dresses. There was cake, ice cream, champagne, and a drunk Leroy standing on top of a table waving his pants in the air screaming:

"THREE SHOTS FOR AMERICA!"

The Swan- Mills women just laughed at the drunken man's foolery until suddenly something like a bottle of water being emptied was heard by everybody.

"What was that?" Somebody asked from the crowd.

Suddenly, Emma answered.

"My water broke."

* * *

They had immediately rushed Emma to the hospital. She would scream every few minutes when she would have another dilation. Within ten minutes they were at the hospital and Emma was being rushed into a room.

Regina stood by her wife and held her hand as she screamed and cried.

"Come on Emma, push!"

Another loud scream from Emma.

"Just one more big push Emma!"

One last blood curling scream from Emma that made Regina's skin crawl. The doctors lifted the baby up but there was no crying like Regina and Emma had expected from a newly- born baby.

"Stillborn." That was the word that they heard.

The word that destroyed them. Emma closed her eyes as the tears streamed out of her eyes. She refused to look at the doctors and the baby she strained her neck to turn as far away from the scene as possible. Regina was outside of the room looking in at her wife experiencing the same amount of pain she was.

All she saw was a chance at a happy ending destroyed.

* * *

It might have been a rainy night that night. One week exactly after the stillborn birth of Henry. They were both in a complete state of depression. Regina had wanted to go for a drive and Emma had let her. It had seemed harmless at the time. But Emma didn't know that saying the word 'yes' would have changed her life forever.

The car flipped 10 times. Her neck was broken by the second flip. Emma could have sued the semi that hit her but she chose not to. Because money would be worthless when she was dead. When she was with Regina.

* * *

"That's why I tried to do it. That's why I tried to kill myself. Because I can't live without Regina. Because She's My Home."


End file.
